Musing VI: Single

I am single and that is a fact that I would probably have to live with for the rest of my life. A very cynical view one might say but a very realistic possibility nonetheless, especially for a gay man.

But being single does not mean I am lonely or that I am alone. Being single speaks only of the societal definition of my status and not my state of being. Notwithstanding the reality of what I have; I choose to be happy and that is more important than weeping for the reality of what I don't have.

Is it really a truth or is it just my contemptible dispute to justify and bring sense to my single hood? Arguably I have deemed my being gay, is not a choice, but an innate truth. It is my very being and as such I have no choice but to accept it.

In the same way, it can be argued that being gay and single is not a choice but a fact of reality; for being gay has the fine distinction of apparent freedom to choose and be not constrained by any form of bond; affirming gay as synonymous with polygamy.

I say it's just a convenient choice of pretext for polygamy, to which I don't necessarily subscribe. An excuse for apparent sexual behaviour of no distinction except for the pleasure it brings. I still believe and choose the transparency of a committed relationship for it leaves no room for ambiguities in terms of love; only a romantic fool that I am would like to understand.

That is another one of my views that makes me a pariah, an ironic twist of being a recluse amongst the recluse. Oh well, that is me just being true to the word non-conformist.