August 26, 2006

I have found... lost... and found love again...

It’s been a while since my last post. I still have to finish my 3rd ulan story…

What have happened since? A lot I would say…
My last post was during the time I went back to my alma mater for my judging chore. I have done some schooling as well, having finished a grueling one-week course in hospital management at AGSB. It was an eye-opening course actually; now I know what to call those things that I have been doing; it was a very good academic exercise to put label into things I have been used to doing, which I know as just simple management guided by common sense. That put me into thinking whether I would still pursue my desire to enroll in an MBA program. At this point, what for? Maybe as an added degree; to make my resume more impressive; and perhaps another career path/option in the future; other than that I really see no other point; coz I’m already doing the things that are supposed to be taught in MBA School.

On the love front, my last post talks as well of my continuing effort to bridge and nurture a continuing friendly relationship with F. I have tried, and still continuing to try; never wanting to burn bridges. I can sense some trepidation on his part; only time will reveal what would really come of it. Have I lost my love for him? I still stand on my previous statement; my love goes beyond the distance of relationship, I have love and that is all that matter.

I have loved again? Or rather I would say that I have found a way to rekindle the passion I feel for a person I met a while back. So let me backtrack: I started playing badminton again April this year, when I joined this Sunday badminton group in Pasig. I saw him, or rather got hooked into him on the second Sunday that I played there; to put it simply, my heart went a flutter the first time my eyes get caught of him; in short I developed this crush on him, his mere presence made me literally dumb, I don’t know why. Super torpe I have been, my friends called and teased me as a matter of fact. Oh well, I have contented myself seeing/glancing from a distance. What can I do, my mind goes blank when I’m in front of him. During the course, I have love and lost and so is he as I came to know.

I really don’t know what came of me, but this week I finally had the courage to send him a txt message, that is almost after 2 weeks of getting hold of his cell number. I sent him what maybe considered a non-sensical message, a very lame excuse just to say hi. I was crushed when he did not reply, at least not immediately. But when he did the exchange continued until the following day. I really do not know where my boldness came from but I did invite him that night for dinner, and gladly he accepted. And so I had a dinner date with him, if that can be called a ‘date’; a friend said if there’s just the two of you, it’s already called a date, fine. I was still tongue-tied most of the time, but at least I got over my ka-torperhan, in a way. All in all it was really a good exercise to demystify and deconstruct my crush in him; a good start to possibly know him on a deeper level. I’m going to see him again later this evening; I hope this time the air would be more relaxed; hopefully we would find comfort and ease in each other to freely share and open up.
:)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey good luck! Hope you find true happiness. And continue playing badminton. :-)